Blah. I am tired and missing my husband and baby. At least I was able to see both of them for a few hours before coming to work tonight as Troy made a speedy drive home early. I love him.
But I was looking for a new job today as I have been for awhile. My current job environment is TOXIC and there is little room to grow or learn. I feel very stagnant. Is it easy work...yep. Is it enjoyable work...yep (I love the educational aspect of my job, teaching families and other nurses and who wouldn't just love the babies!) But...rotating...the politics...the template...the hours...ugh. I am mentally fried some days...from the sheer lack of pizzazz. There was a job opening for a pediatric perinatal RN associated with the Clinic. I might talk to Troy about applying. I don't know what the plan will be though when we have baby number 2. Will I still want to work? Will I want to stay home? Do I want to change jobs or just cut back to 1 day a week? I wish to go PRN but alas that won't work as easily as I had hoped. I do enjoy working. I enjoy getting out of the house and interacting with other adults. Don't get me wrong, I love Madison and I love being a mama, but I also appreciate being a nurse.
God,
Guide my life according to your plan. Place me in the position I need, whether that is at home or in the working world. Help me to accept my place. Give Troy patience as I work to figure this all out. Amen.
Monday, May 26, 2014
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Another night another story
Ah back for a second night in a row of the dark side...nightshift. My body is just not designed to work nights. I hate them. I at least slept well today (if you count 6 hours with 2 pee breaks well) so I shouldn't complain. I look forward to cuddling my little babe on Tuesday morning though. Oh how I miss her, and it's only been less than 36 hours since Troy and Madison left but I wish to cuddle with her instead of the NICU babies.
Today my MS feels a little better than yesterday, still some heaviness and tingling in my left arm but I was able to do an hour of yoga today and that really helped to loosen up my tight muscles. I think I need to get back to the gym here soon to get into the pool. But for now I do what I can.
Tonight I am pondering what to do for my 30th birthday. We have a 5 mile run scheduled for the morning and I will walk/run the event. Then a nap will most likely be in order since the race starts at 6:30AM. But from there I don't know. Zac Brown Band is coming to Blossom, or the Improv, or just dinner and drinks at a gastropub? Troy said his parents are offering to come watch the babe if we want to get out of the house. Hummmm Or do we just wait and do a really fancy dinner while down in FL? Decisions, decisions.
Well back to work I suppose.
God, thank you for today. For the beautiful sunshine and nice weather. For good sleep and time to re-energize myself. For a healthy beautiful baby and for a loving kind husband. Thank you for a father who calls to make sure I am out of the house on time, for mom who will make dinner for us tomorrow and for a happy pooch and cat who make our house a home. Help me to fight on, to know You, to trust in Your ways. Guide my heart as we start a new day to seek ways to share Your kingdom. Thank you for protecting Beth's little baby girl; help her to grow strong and to remain healthy! You are good. Amen
Today my MS feels a little better than yesterday, still some heaviness and tingling in my left arm but I was able to do an hour of yoga today and that really helped to loosen up my tight muscles. I think I need to get back to the gym here soon to get into the pool. But for now I do what I can.
Tonight I am pondering what to do for my 30th birthday. We have a 5 mile run scheduled for the morning and I will walk/run the event. Then a nap will most likely be in order since the race starts at 6:30AM. But from there I don't know. Zac Brown Band is coming to Blossom, or the Improv, or just dinner and drinks at a gastropub? Troy said his parents are offering to come watch the babe if we want to get out of the house. Hummmm Or do we just wait and do a really fancy dinner while down in FL? Decisions, decisions.
Well back to work I suppose.
God, thank you for today. For the beautiful sunshine and nice weather. For good sleep and time to re-energize myself. For a healthy beautiful baby and for a loving kind husband. Thank you for a father who calls to make sure I am out of the house on time, for mom who will make dinner for us tomorrow and for a happy pooch and cat who make our house a home. Help me to fight on, to know You, to trust in Your ways. Guide my heart as we start a new day to seek ways to share Your kingdom. Thank you for protecting Beth's little baby girl; help her to grow strong and to remain healthy! You are good. Amen
Saturday, May 24, 2014
Working nights today...ugh I hate nights. I know some nurses LOVE them. I despise them. Blah.
And this is the first morning that I won't see my babe when I get home either. Troy took Madison to Z-ville for the weekend to visit the family. Although I will be happy to sleep soundly when I head home I will also be sad to not have my snuggle time in the morning before sleep evades.
Troy being the great father that he is took the babe for the whole weekend so he will have her for three nights in a row. Almost 72 hours without seeing the little lady, I might shed some tears. After being attached at the boob for 6 weeks without a bottle and then another 6 weeks before heading back to work....I am kind of attached to my little lady bug. Maybe I will just quit. But I love my work too. Such is the struggle of a mama.
I can't wait to hear how the weekend away turns out for the both of them. Hopefully she sleeps well and doesn't keep Troy awake all weekend.
MS: Left arm slightly painful, tingling, heaviness, able to type okay though, good strength.
TGS: (Trevis Gleason Scale) 4
But I am still loving life!
And this is the first morning that I won't see my babe when I get home either. Troy took Madison to Z-ville for the weekend to visit the family. Although I will be happy to sleep soundly when I head home I will also be sad to not have my snuggle time in the morning before sleep evades.
Troy being the great father that he is took the babe for the whole weekend so he will have her for three nights in a row. Almost 72 hours without seeing the little lady, I might shed some tears. After being attached at the boob for 6 weeks without a bottle and then another 6 weeks before heading back to work....I am kind of attached to my little lady bug. Maybe I will just quit. But I love my work too. Such is the struggle of a mama.
I can't wait to hear how the weekend away turns out for the both of them. Hopefully she sleeps well and doesn't keep Troy awake all weekend.
MS: Left arm slightly painful, tingling, heaviness, able to type okay though, good strength.
TGS: (Trevis Gleason Scale) 4
But I am still loving life!
beginnings and blessings
I feel compelled to write. It but the voice in my head into pen. It has been years since I have blogged but feel it is where I need to begin again. Where I can find me, the new me, the change I seek.
I am a wife to a wonderful husband whom I have been married to for over 3 years. God has given us quite the roller coaster the first few years of our marriage but we are stronger people because of it and our marriage is stronger for it. We are not perfect but we laugh, we tease, we sing (off key mostly), we grow, we love. And for those things I am grateful.
This past January we welcomed our first daughter into the world, a little girl, Madison Rose. I love her. She makes my heart so happy. As a friend of mine put it, being a mother is the best vocation in the world. Some days present challenges, but for the most part the last 4 months have been blissful. She sleeps well, eats well, and is a joy to watch grow. Her newest "trick" is grabbing her toes and rolling to the side. She makes me melt. I am a NICU nurse. I finally feel that I have found my niche. I love the babies and the families. I love the growth outside of the womb as the little babies learn to conquer the world. If I ever need a lesson on strength I just need to look at them.
And lastly what truly is the reason that I need to write and find an outlet for my thoughts...I have multiple sclerosis. My MS battle started in May 2011 shortly after Troy and I were married. I am thankful that I have had a relatively benign course. The first summer living through it and getting a diagnosis was the worst. But since then has been bearable. My pregnancy was great and symptom free. And the past winter has been relatively symptom free except for the first few weeks after Madison was born. Now that the heat is starting to creep back into the days my left side is a little more heavy, a little more tingley, a little more annoying. I am so sad to have to wean breastfeeding in order to start back on Copaxone. I wish it could be some other way. But the reality is that I need to start back on my medication before the true heat of summer starts up. (What a pain in the butt or a pain in the forearm at the moment...)
But really this blog is a place for me to talk about how I am coping with my MS. How I am coping with being a mama. And to share to joy of this life I am blessed to live.
I am a wife to a wonderful husband whom I have been married to for over 3 years. God has given us quite the roller coaster the first few years of our marriage but we are stronger people because of it and our marriage is stronger for it. We are not perfect but we laugh, we tease, we sing (off key mostly), we grow, we love. And for those things I am grateful.
This past January we welcomed our first daughter into the world, a little girl, Madison Rose. I love her. She makes my heart so happy. As a friend of mine put it, being a mother is the best vocation in the world. Some days present challenges, but for the most part the last 4 months have been blissful. She sleeps well, eats well, and is a joy to watch grow. Her newest "trick" is grabbing her toes and rolling to the side. She makes me melt. I am a NICU nurse. I finally feel that I have found my niche. I love the babies and the families. I love the growth outside of the womb as the little babies learn to conquer the world. If I ever need a lesson on strength I just need to look at them.
And lastly what truly is the reason that I need to write and find an outlet for my thoughts...I have multiple sclerosis. My MS battle started in May 2011 shortly after Troy and I were married. I am thankful that I have had a relatively benign course. The first summer living through it and getting a diagnosis was the worst. But since then has been bearable. My pregnancy was great and symptom free. And the past winter has been relatively symptom free except for the first few weeks after Madison was born. Now that the heat is starting to creep back into the days my left side is a little more heavy, a little more tingley, a little more annoying. I am so sad to have to wean breastfeeding in order to start back on Copaxone. I wish it could be some other way. But the reality is that I need to start back on my medication before the true heat of summer starts up. (What a pain in the butt or a pain in the forearm at the moment...)
But really this blog is a place for me to talk about how I am coping with my MS. How I am coping with being a mama. And to share to joy of this life I am blessed to live.
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